What's the Deal?!?

I don't get it.

I mean I'm a catch. I'm a winner. Successful. Charming. Funny... Modest.

So why am I having such trouble finding a good woman? I'm not getting any younger that's for sure. And I'm not as "tone" as I was at 21. You're body stops growing and starts to deteriorate at 25. I'm almost four years into the 'deterioration process', and it's showing. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Some people tell I'm looking in the wrong places. Like work. A bar. A street corner. The phonebook. I say it's because I've yet to find anyone who I'm attracted to, AND who's single.

Lets face it. Guys are smarter than you ladies think. If they weren't, then there would be a lot more attractive, intelligent, funny, SINGLE women out there. But there aren't. And it's because the biggest idiots swipe them up faster than Kobayashi eats hot dogs. The guys know it's NOW or NEVER! That if they don't swoop down now, they'll never find anything better.

Now I'm not saying there aren't any wonderful single women out there. But there aren't any that I've come across. And I mean, come on! Just look what they're missing out on!