I'm not, so don't worry

I've never thought that I had "gay tendencies".. until this past Friday night.

My Friday started off like any other manly, masculine day. I woke up 20 minutes before having to be at work. I had a Gatorade and Hostess Cherry Fruit Pie (with real cherry filling) for breakfast. Lunch consisted of a chicken, bacon, ranch sandwich, with chips and a root beer from Subway. As for my work day, it was the normal beat down. I guess it was around seven o'clock that night, things began to change.

Let me just tell you, every Friday night I join the other singles or "losers" as we're known at church, for a night of sad singles' softball. It's something we do to forget, at least for a little while, our sad, pathetic lonely lives. Anyway, sitting on the bench for the entire game, I found myself a bit bored. So when my friend, "Greiner" asked if I wanted to hang out, along with our friend "Mamy", I said sure. Why not? Just me and the gals.

Our fun began with a trip to Target and the "hair-coloring" isle. I guess it was somewhere inbetween Nice 'n Easy 113 Natural Burgandy and "Greiner's" purchase of "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," I blacked out. The next thing I know, I'm watching a chic flick and COLORING GREINER'S HAIR! Straight men don't color hair?!?! Do they? No. And what's worse, it turned out well. Which makes me wonder, did I chose the wrong career?

I've hit a new low. What's worse.. "Greiner's" bragging about her new colorist. Men, I apologize. Dad, I hope you can forgive me.