It's Rude to Point Son...

"We're #1! We're #1!" The things they teach kids these days...

Open for Interpretation

I've had some really weird dreams the past week.

The first happened last Friday (8/12). Let me set it up by saying there's this guy that I work with. We call him "Dangerous Dan." He's a bit off. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. He's the guy that could snap one day and kill everyone at work. You know the kind of guy. Anyway, the dream goes like this:

Dan and I are hanging out at a bar and for some reason we're taking shots. Not of whiskey or tequilla, or even buttery nipples.. but of basalmic vinegar. ??? What the? Basalmic vinegar? What does that mean? Am I bitter about something? I don't know.

The second dream happened last night (8/16). This one was more typical for a single man and a bit more graphic. It goes like this:

I'm in the shower with this girl I know. Naked. We're making out (of course). Then the shower begins moving. Upward. That's when I pull back the curtain and all of the sudden realize I'm in an elevator. In the shower, in an elevator.

So, I'm standing there naked, with this chick who's name I will NEVER divulge.. and the elevator door opens. Standing there are around five sorority girls. Of course they all start laughing. I look down to make sure they weren't laughing at me. They weren't. ;)

Anyway, then for some reason.. they begin throwing tampons at us. Yes, TAMPONS. Somehow I'm able to hit a level number and shut the doors. Then I wake up. ??? What is going on??? I can understand the naked girl thing, but tampons?!?! Come on.

I tell ya, weird things man. I thought the dream about the Deer driving a John Deer tractor, mowing my yard was weird.. but not after this week.

Heads Up..

What is the deal with women and tall guys?

I'm reading a friend's blog today and I'm amazed at her fascination with tall men. Apparently I'm short because I'm "only" 5'11". That's above average according to the National Center for Health Statistics! It says the average height for an American male is 5'9 1/2" tall.

According my friend and many other women, unless you're around 6'2" or taller, you're not an option. You're too short.

Ladies, if you're single, it really narrows down your possible life-mate pool if you only date really tall guys. Honestly, how many men above 6'2" tall do you know? Not many I'm sure.

This whole thing has sparked a new viewpoint for me. I like women with big breasts.

So from now on, I'm only going to date women with D-cups or larger. I mean, C-cups are average. Why would I want average or anything less?

Yep, sorry ladies, if you're smaller than than a D-cup, your loss. Little Cozy likes women with big boobs.

You could be near perfect in every other way, but I'm not interested. You're obviously just not up to my standards.

Retarded.